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  • bystresscookie

In My Stride

Toodsay it is.  I am trying to take it in stride.  Once again having to accept some harsh reality.  And, well, it is oddly easier than ever.

When I first started writing, the following came out:

Never have I ever Wanted more than I think I deserve Thought I deserved more than anyone else

Certainly true.  But, I got stuck there.  Because, the truth is, I realized that much of what I wished would follow was untrue.  I am human.  I err.  A lot.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  And, I have to deal with the consequences.  What battles are worth fighting?  How can I move forward if I do not just let it go?

I can’t seem to make a decision that is in my best interest.  I try to do the right thing and end up shooting myself in the foot.  I try to negotiate, I get left dangling.  I finally decide to walk away and, then, comes the carrot.  And, then, the thread I’m still hanging from shears against the cliff’s edge.

Maybe I should have waited longer to reach out.  Maybe I can’t help but self destruct.  Maybe, I don’t actually give a shit about all of the crap I keep trying to hang on to.

I have to walk away.  I cannot stay.  Falling into a frayed net is far riskier than putting my feet firmly on my own ground and forging my way along the road not traveled.

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