Early morning mental acrobatics. Desperately trying to wind my mind around the task of giving constructive criticism. This has become enormously difficult. I am the last person in the world to disregard how someone feels. I am all about emotional expression. However, the things that are being taken as grievous offences or personal attacks these days has become, well, a little ridiculous.
I have a tendency, when trying to give constructive criticism to explain the why. Why it is important to, say, wash both sides of the dishes. Or, be mindful about use of resources. Rather than being seen a the sharing of information to improve a situation, this is taken, more and more, as condescension. Pointing out a flaw is never easy. Providing an explanation, especially with a solution, is not a personal attack. It is an assumption of a lack of knowledge and faith that there was no ill intent that provides an opportunity to make things (and, be) better. At least, that is ALWAYS MY intent.
Unfortunately, we have come to a point where people can’t seem to conceive of any perspective beyond the one they have adopted. And, I do believe that is largely in part of the fact that everyone who has been born in North America the past forty years, at least, has been inundated, from birth, with mainstream perspectives and popular opinions to chose from rather than growing them through actual experiences with other people. We have come to a place where don’t have to negotiate intimate relationships anymore. We approach them with preconceived notions, interpretations and expectations. And, we can move on to the next when they no longer suit us. Change the channel, so to speak. Or, forgo them completely by immersing ourselves in the virtual world. No wonder everyone seems to have abandonment issues that trigger the “I’m bad/wrong” feelings rather than the “I can be better”.
Just some thoughts on a Friday morning.